Life Change

So, I am going to be a father. Montana and I announced on social media a few weeks ago that we are expecting a third member of our family this November. That is what we call a big change. One might even call that life changing.

We are both excited, a little scared, and Montana at least, has been really sick for the past several weeks with nausea and dehydration. We have since got her on some medication so she has been doing better this past week as she enters her second trimester. Life is coming at us the only way life knows how to come: fast.

Bring it on.

My wife will tell you that I am a slow guy, and generally big life changes and major risks freak me out. In a perfect world I would like to know everything at a minimum 5 years prior; that way I could then comfortably prepare for the next chapter of life. If I could somehow catch a glimpse of 2022 I could see what sort of job I would have and make the necessary preparations today. If I could peer into the crystal ball and see myself serving in vocational ministry, I could read up on ministry and practice on my skills today. Or if I could see that I will become a Marketing professional, I could invest my time and resources right now to that end. If I could somehow see what my family will look like in seven years, I could lay the groundwork today for what will come tomorrow.

But such a life wouldn't only be agonizingly boring, it would also give us no need to depend on God. Life changes have a way of forcing us outside of the "safe spaces" we grow accustomed to, driving us towards our heavenly Father's arms. Because where else could we go?

And because of this frequent result of life changes, I think it is safe to say that change is good. It disrupts our comfort, and drives us into the great unknown.

All things considering, I am not too anxious about our child. At least not yet. I am reminding myself that come September I will be 25 years old, and if my Grandfather could become a father of my uncle at age 18--I should be able to do this in my mid-20s.

My biggest concern is the responsibility. This child is a precious, little life that is going to be entrusted into my care. Will I be able to provide sufficiently for his or her physical needs? Will I be able to keep him safe and shelter him from the dangers of an evil world? Will I be able to provide and care for his greatest needs: his Spiritual needs? Will I be the type of father that shows Christ to my little girl or boy? Will I be the kind of man that they will be able to observe only consistency between the way I talk and the way I walk?

Not too long ago I was a kid once, and I remember being given an incredible start to life; I remember daily observing my Father's habits and gradually arriving at the conclusion that he was actually "for real" about this whole "Jesus thing". I saw first hand in my parents that Christianity actually does work, and that experience impacts me to this day. Will I be able to do the same for my children?

In my own strength I know I cannot. But His grace is sufficient for me, and his power is made perfect in weakness. So by the grace of God go I.