Failing Our Boys

Some scattered thoughts I wrote a couple of months ago about how our society is failing a certain demographic:

How are we failing our boys? I read this article that Russell Moore shared on twitter that claimed that men need a movement similar to feminism to start a conversation about what is true masculinity. Clearly what we have currently in place is missing the mark. Young males are the ones doing these mass shootings, but more than that--it is quite plain to see that this demographic of younger men are falling through the cracks. The author of the article thinks that a lack of vulnerability and "real men don't cry" mantra has calloused these boys and given them no outlet for their emotions. I agree somewhat. I am sure it has contributed.

I remember reading a different article from a writer of a different persuasion almost a year ago who claimed the opposite. He said that the eradication of everything traditionally manly--of hard work, of fighting, of books about killing bad guys; the implementation of unending rules and sit in your seat school policies--is failing our boys. We are doing away with everything that smells of strength, and that is a problem.

I actually don't disagree with that either. The tough guy look, has not been helpful to men, nor do I believe, to use his term, the "feminization" of society has been helpful to men.

Neither are a true reflection of Biblical masculinity (manifested in the person of Jesus Christ). If Jesus is indeed the second Adam who succeeds in every area we fail, we should look to Him as men in particular to follow His example for how to live. And Jesus wept! Jesus said blessed are the meek, and the poor in spirit. Blessed are the hungry and the heavy laden. Jesus said the last shall be first, and seemed to honor things we find maybe traditionally "weak". But Jesus, humble as he was, still flipped tables over and whipped money changers out of the temple. He stood up to the religious leaders and their abuses, never sparing a single word in their denunciation. In undoubtedly the greatest display, we see both supreme strength and humility collide when He sacrificed himself on the cross for the sins of the world. Humble, because he laid it down. Strong, because he did so willingly. It is in Jesus we must derive our full conception of masculinity. Not in tradition or in progressive ideology.

But as most in our society will not look to Jesus for "real masculinity" there are still areas in the realm of general revelation that can help. Surely such examples will not be anywhere near the true depiction of manhood, but they will be better than nothing (which is what many have currently). This is where the collapse of the family unit has been so destructive to young men in my opinion. Ben Shapiro shares a stat that says the number one indicator of whether a man will be imprisoned or not is whether or not he had a father at home when he was growing up. Boys growing up without male role models who can reflect a noble model of masculinity, will quickly look for a counterfeit. And counterfeits abound. Celebrities, gangs, cinema, athletics--all look to give some model of what it means to be a man. Some may be more true than others--but as Aristotle shows us--the true is so difficult a destination in which to arrive. The good example is finite, the false are innumerable.

I also think a divorce from the historical examples in our modern society has only enflamed the issue. Our world, lacking good examples in the home and in culture, has unfortunately separated itself from the men of the past (due in part to our arrogance, moral superiority, or just plain disinterest). So we are really left in the dark to what a virtuous man looks like in the realm of common grace. We do not read Plutarch to know what was deemed a noble masculine life by the ancients. We cut ourselves off from our nation's founders because they owned slaves. We sever ourselves from church fathers and reformers because of their obvious flaws.

Our world needs ideals after which to strive. Our boys need tangible examples to follow. But if we won't follow Jesus, and if we will not follow our fathers because they are missing in action, and if we won't follow the men who have gone before us--how do you expect our boys to succeed?