The Plural Me

This marriage thing is going to be hard. My whole life I have lived thinking about me--making decisions based on me. I do ministries because I am gifted to do them. I like to keep a quieter profile because I do not like to tell everyone about me all the time. I engage in activities that I enjoy for no other reason than because I enjoy doing them. This has been how Daniel Harris has lived for the last 23 years. The singular self-- and it has been a pretty good ride.

But that is all changing soon, and it is hard. I am getting married to a girl that I love very much, and she is a little different than me (which is a good thing). She has a lot of hair. She laughs a lot and laughs loudly. She likes to tell stories about her day. She loves people, adores children, and dislikes animals. She likes to dance and she likes to have fun—and I think she enjoys embarrassing me in the process. She likes to be active. She likes to be in the game. Did I mention that she is also really pretty?

She is going to become the other half of the new “plural me;” and I am really looking forward to it. But I might have underestimated the enormity of this union. Marrying her means that I cannot live for me anymore; my thoughts can no longer revolve around me. The “me” has to go—and from here on out it is going to be we. I have to now consider her, think of her, and lay myself down for her. I have to love her like Christ Jesus loved the church.

To say that this will be a challenge would be a gross understatement. I do not mean to sound extreme, but I cannot do this. I cannot break the hardwired selfishness imbedded in who I am. I need the grace of God. Without His help I will fail. Only in His strength can I follow the example of our Savior who made himself nothing and lost himself that we might be His.

So here goes. By the grace of God go I We.