What a Month!

September has flown by for me. A complete blur. At the beginning of the month Montana and I were wondering when this "unknown gendered" baby would be born, and what we would name he/she. The name in particular was something that would go down to the wire. On September 4th we welcomed Brooks Martyn Harris into the world. He seemed in a hurry to get out too. We checked into the OB floor 6:40 AM, and baby was born 7:13 AM; that is what you call a close one!

I was able to take about a week and a half off work to tend to the family. We were blessed with a meal train, where friends and family brought us food night after night, a tremendous and obvious help. Montana and I have a lot of support and the love from friends and family is quite overwhelming.

We are now adjusting to a new rhythm and hoping things start to settle into a new routine. A new normal. Having an infant in the home is not a new thing for us. We can handle the sleep deprivation and the disrupted schedule--we have done it before--the biggest challenge at this point is managing Hudson who is not quite 2 years old. That two kid dynamic is the new thing, especially when one of them is in full-fledged toddler mode.

One thing I have been learning over the past few months is humility. I have been learning to submit to God's immediate design for my life even if that design is not what I quite had in mind. This summer I was faced with a neat ministry opportunity that could have grown into a full time role. It did not quite work out, but disappointing as that may be, the process was something I am thankful for. I had to consider following the Lord through an entirely different career path than the one I am on now. I had to be open to venture down a door I did not expect to be open. Through the process, I was able to meet and connect with some incredible people, relationships that will influence me in the future. And when things did not work out, I had to evaluate some of my own motivations for serving the Lord. What is it that is driving me? Why is it that I have a desire to preach? Is it that I am so consumed by the glory of God and a desire to make Him known? Or is it that I want the recognition, the thrill, the sense of fulfillment--that I want to give off a thoroughly spiritual perception of myself?

All of this has been beneficial. Through this season I have been learning increasingly of my own selfishness, my own inability, my great weakness. Of how much further I have to go than I thought previously. I think periods of change and uncertainty have a way of doing that.

Philippians 4:19 says, "My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Jesus Christ." God is Jehovah Jireh, the "Lord will provide." I have seen His provision first hand, through the birth of my sons, through some recent car issues, through financial navigations, and through some uncertainty regarding calling and career. These disruptions to the norm force us to trust our Father for new things in new ways. They have a way of waking us up from the easy ride we may find ourselves coasting along, shaking us to look up again towards our Source. If that dependency is a result of our changes in life, than these changes are most definitely good.