To winsome or not to winsome?

There is quite a buzz these days about winsomeness, and the question is how should Christians live in a now godless culture? Do we be kind to one another and in a spirit of meekness seek to show our good deeds to the world that they may glorify our Father in heaven (Luke 5:16)? Or do we confront the lost as Noah did the antediluvian masses, call them to forsake their sins and hide in the shelter from the coming judgment (2 Peter 2:5)? Do we live quiet lives and earn good report (1 Thess 4:11); or do we ditch that and preach against that unregenerate Herod's taking of his brother's wife (Luke 3:19).

It is not easy to navigate the Christian posture. There is a point where winsomeness becomes only an excuse for cowardice; and a point where what is commonly called "culture warring" is just mean spirited bravado. We are equipped with manifold personalities and tendencies, and while all marked by sin, we are more geared to one approach or another. We should not seek to give excuse to our default tendencies, but examine them against the Word of God and see where they may need reformation. 

It is interesting when looking at Scripture to consider all the various types of characters used by God. Old and New Testament. There is the humble, stuttering Moses who does not dare to speak; there is the Spirit Filled Peter preaching "this Christ whom you crucified." There is Elijah mocking the prophets of Baal, and there is the audience adjusted appeal of Paul in Acts 17. Each approach is especially tuned to the unique situation presented the proclaimer.

To make matters a bit more difficult we see careful nuance and fire breathing threatenings from the same people in Scripture. Paul offers healing words of restoration to the Corinthians in the second epistle, after blowing them up in the first. John writes softly to little children, but also strikes down the early Christological heresies with ferocity (1 John 4:3). Perhaps we see this comingling most pronounced in Christ himself who turns over tables and drives out the money changers. He name calls the religious elites "white washed tombs", "sons of hell," and their disciples "twice the sons of hell" as they. He speaks woe against the towns that rejected him; indiscriminately calls men evil (Matt 7:11); and ushers a fountain of warnings and rebukes ie: "repent or you too will perish." Yet Jesus also is the one who heals the paralytic, restores sight to the blind man, and praises the sinful woman at his feet. Now this is hardly "winsome" -- but it is nevertheless gentle, compassionate, and kind. There is a meekness to his presence. He does not strive or call out, neither is his voice heard in the streets.

If so much seemingly contradictory emotions and responses emanate from Jesus the Son of Man, we can only reason similar responses are warranted from his children. The question is not: "Is it okay to be a firebrand?" but "when is there a righteous obligation to set the brand on fire?" It is not: "can we never carefully present our position to avoid unnecessary offense?" But: "When should we walk carefully in this manner; becoming all things to all men that we may win some?" Pun intended. These different responses are not as opposed as we might think, provided our reactions are properly assigned to the situations we are faced with. 

While the world we are dealing with is entirely opposed to the things of Christ and His gospel on the macro level; the manifestation of this rebellion are as varied as the individuals themselves. Many are blinded to the depravity of their viewpoints and lifestyles, and while this does not absolve them, it is something to be aware of. The nature of sin is that we can both be its victim while being at the same time an actor in its morbidity. We can be enslaved while simultaneously contributing to the harm of ourselves and of others. An awareness of this should create in us a level of divine sympathy towards the lost state of those around us, compelling us to say with our Savior "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." 

People, even the most evil, are not our chief enemy. There is a prince of this world who has blinded the hearts of men and strong words are not sufficient in themselves to break this power. Our goal in engagement must factor in our limitations. We do not change lives and souls; and our intent in engagement is only to be faithful to God and to be used by Him to speak His truth. If something changes in someone else because of our testimony, that is not of us.

Still there remain situations that not only warrant but command a heavy hand. Public issues where we are blessed to have a say, demand that we speak the truth. Drag Queen Story Hour needs to be derided and shut down. The killing of the unborn needs to be abolished. Human trafficking and the pornography epidemic that fuels it must be eradicated. These are pretty easy issues for Christians, and if the lost view us in a poor light because of our public positions on these; than they view us in a poor light.  

So far these are pretty common sense, but things don’t stay here especially as we move from public to private relationships. There are political issues we as citizens of a republic are responsible for, public situations which warrant a public response; then there are private situations: there are people who are unrepentant, people who are repentant, people who long to be repentant. People who have great pain and heart aching stories. The human being is full of layers and complexities and motives, oftentimes all conflicting one another. How do we discern how to walk properly?

I do not have an easy answer, but I think there are few simple guiding questions we should ask before we engage: 

- Is this response loving the person and their long term outcome? When done properly, both soft and strong responses will be communicated out of love. They both must consider what will the long term effects of this be. John the Baptist's language against Herod was out of love. Christ's rebuke of the Pharisees was out of love. The warning of future judgment is not the judgment itself; it is a great mercy, something to be treasured and responded to. Gentle answers in the wrong situations can sometimes be the most unloving responses, because they can encourage the sin, and the harm to others, and ultimately the eternal destruction. May it never be!

- What is my motivation in my response? Am I trying to gain favor with my boss by my not speaking up about a Christian conviction of mine? Am I trying to be accepted by the "cool kids at school?" Social media takes advantage of a "playing to your team" dynamic which results in us saying things far more strongly than we would normally say. We want our friends to see that we are strong on this issue, which contributes to much online discourse being quite nasty. A truly loving response will not play to a side or seek to be liked, for that will be focusing on ourselves. It will rather be concerned chiefly of the long term and eternal outcome of the person we are addressing. Responses coming out of a "how do I look" or "what does this do for me" mentality must be re-examined.

- Are millstones involved? Sin always has a further reach than we ever think at the time. It almost never affects only the person who is committing it. When dealing with lost people and commonly accepted sins it is helpful to consider who else is being affected by this. Is this affecting children? Is it enslaving young lives in patterns that will prove destructive? For those causing little ones to stumble, Jesus offered the strongest words imaginable: it would be better for him to have a millstone hung around his neck and he was thrown into the sea (Luke 17:2). Christians must always work to defend the defenseless and this will assuredly require more combative language. It is not a desire for a "preservation of our rights" that should fuel our public involvement, but a love for our neighbor and their common good; especially our little and defenseless neighbors.

As stated before, it is difficult to navigate how we are to walk in these times. I am certain we have made and will continue to make our share of mistakes as we try to engage this broken world. This only makes it all the more important to continually seek aid from the Lord to give us the right response and reaction to every situation. If we are walking in His Holy Spirit, we will not be steered wrong. He will guide us in all truth.

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"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:5-6